I always dreamt of riding a two wheeler particularly a geared one . But never took pain to learn it since childhood to manhood to learn one. Whenever someone questioned me why don’t you learn a motorbike , I use to reply with my standard answer . “I don’t want to pollute the environment with this power driven vehicles”. From my childhood the only help I did to the environment was to pee on the roadside . Surely this might have helped plants or trees .
Finally a couple of months back I took up the challenge of buying and learning a motorcycle . Now it is 2 months so it would be good to share my moto ride experience with you.
So it starts …
Couple of days back Prasanna has send me a forward email . It is a lifestyle analytical email which asks you a few question and after that we need map our answers appropriately to find our stlye of living . In that mail a question was “whether I prefer flying or driving” . Since I have neither wings nor did a crazy stunt of jumping out of my window from 5 floor so I never tasted flying . My recent bike driving made me choose driving as my preference . But the analysis for that question was I am not a braveheart . That was the moment I concluded that mail was a hoax mail. If you don’t believe me try out riding through the lanes of Borabanda. If ever Christopher Nolan drives his vehicle through Borabanda he would definitely plan to shoot next Batman or Inception there.
You can never cross 20 KMPH on that roads . The moment you cross , you can greet your ortho doctor and insurance agent.
I need to cross this Borabanda area to go my office . So daily I need to cross this twice which makes it more tough. It is a stretch of 3 kms. It starts with a crowded uneven road with ups and downs. When I start that stretch immediately I move a bit back on my sit to safeguard my nature settings against hitting the petrol tank. Riding on this road make me feel good . It is as good as riding a horse. Whenever my bike enters this road I feel I am Kalabhairav , riding baadshah, the black horse (here it is the black pulsar) to get Mitravinda chunni . Then the Borabanda township starts . Roads with a very few potholes , just a few that you would be very happy to have those many rupees as your monthly salary.
Only once I just tried, no no not tried , I dared to cross 20KMPH . The moment my bike odometer crossed 20 , a vehicle from nowhere just ran into mine breaking my toe finger so never dare to cross that 20 mark in Borabanda.
Horn . this is a toy given along with your vehicle. When I started to learn driving , I was quite polite to all my co roadmates giving them enough space , signals and horns . Later I realized that these just exploit you . Once in my native Tanuku I was driving my father’s Activa. A lady in forties was standing on the road disturbing traffic. I deliberately accelerated my Activa to high speed and kept on honking . The lady kept on watching me but never moved an inch. Finally I gave up , applied break and stopped just before the lady. That lady immediately started to curse me for driving so fast . My vehicle stopped almost 5 feet away from her doing no harm in her territory .Just as lord Buddha got reliazation at Bodh Gaya under a tree for me it was horn realization on the road . So the moral of Driving is Horn is of no use. Instead of honking just shout “Jarugu bey Saale” , the guy/girl would immediately give way for your vehicle.
Enjoy maadi...
Visu
Monday, October 3, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
The Kalki Avatar
After my engineering , I have developed an interest towards mythology books and in particular the stories written about Lord Vishnu or Narayana. The stories say that Lord Vishnu took Nine Avatars to kill the demon and restore righteouness , and he is expected to take the last avatar in this yuga as Kalki. So everytime a demon rises the Lord takes birth to kill the demon. This is the main learning for me.
Secondly , I applied a bit lateral thought to this. Who is lot selfish and cruel?. Is it Sages ,Rishis or the demons. Rishis and Sages spend their whole life in penance to have a view of the Lord , but demons they keep on troubling the households , loads of evil, disturbing the penance of the Sages or Rishis. So due to this inherent badness of the demon , the Lord kills the demon and blesses the Sages. But I say the Rishis are more selfish than the demons.Let me explain. The sages sit at some place and does the penance and so selfishly have the view of the Lord for themselves . Although the demon troubles, he make sures, the Lord takes an avatar and stays with us for a long time . So it is because of the demon we are seeing the Lord not because of the Sage. So the demon is better from that point than the pious Sage.
So the modern Sage Anna Hazare is doing the same. He is doing penance to curb the evil in the soceitly and utlimately denying us the Darshan of the God. So if he is the Sage then who is the demon. It should be the Suresh Kalmadi , or rather any politician . Why to limit it to only politics because we see corruption in judicary , army and everywhere. So it is everyone who is in public service . Thats it or rather it is we who are corrupt than anyone else ?
To elaborate more , the other day I was talking to an acquaintance of mine who has changed his middle name to Anna. I was telling him that the penalty for violating traffic rules have increased , so we need to shell out more if we do a mistake. He replied “ Why do you worry of the fine. A fine is fine only when we take a receipt , We don't need receipt , so no fine. It is just Rs 100.” So you support the guy who did fast to make this country ideal by paying a fine Rs 100. You would rather do like this . Open facebook and type “Jai bolo Anna Hazare. We will kill all these bloody politicians who are fucking corrupt. Please forward this message to everyone Jai India Mera Bharath Mahan”. This makes much better non-sense . Just blame the other guy.
Ask the number of guys who tweeted, fb'ed or did a march actually read and understood the Jan Lokpal Bill and Lokpal Bill . It is very very few.
Till date , I never supported the anti-corruption movement. I am just waiting for a day in my life
* To have courage to pay a fine which is much more than a bribe.
* To wait patiently in a movie ticket queue instead of buying a black ticket.
* To dutily vote on an election day instead of watching a movie.
* To submit a document self instead of hiring a broker.
* To register my property at exact rate I have bought.
* To declare my Income properly including the non filed rents , capital gains and all .
* To follow traffic rules and never take a wrong lane to overtake a slow vehicle.
* To have indiscrimate view against others irrespective of cast, creed or religion.
* To not only have sexual view against all others of opposite sex.
Wait Wait Wait .. so if we do all this sort , the Lokpal bill may go waste. Simple logic when the feed reduces the fish dies. When the fish dies why do we need fisherman to catch the corrupted fish.
It is becuase of the feed the Fish gets more hungry. Even if fisherman catches all the corrupted fish , if there is plenty of feed , weed may grow which is more tough to clean up. So the day you practise to be better responsible toward soceity then we dont need any Anna Hazares fighting for the Lokpal Bill. People remain corrupt till the day we pay them. So it is not about taking oath , walking with candles , or sending forwards about Anna Hazare. It is about you following it. But it does not end with you following it. A single black sheep in the herd is enough to give birth to many black sheep. So let us make sure even others follow the rules and discipline strictly . Incase they dont follow we will the whistleblowers to shout on them for corrupting our society. Just give a try , if we could succeed in being better, encourage others to be better, we shall support Anna , otherwise dump this Lokpal , let us wait for the tenth avatar of Lord Vishnu(Kalki) to come and reform us if he could .
By
Visu Malladi.
Disclaimer
* This post is intented to hurt everyone who is corrupt.
* No characters are fictional in this post.
* To be read as first person
comments @ spilledmotives@gmail.com / malladiviswanath@yahoo.co.in
Friday, August 19, 2011
Cubicle Conversations
“You called me from your mobile . It will cost you a fortune. Drop the call I will call you back from my office number” This is most common line I keep on hearing at office on daily basis. Post this talk, a call is made from office phone and a converstion starts . I could never track the end of conversation due to the length. The discussion starts over a range of topics starting from how are you , your kids, your neighbours , why Chiranjeevi has come to politics , who is Anna Hazare , lunches, movies and all . These conversations are famous with the name CC (“Cubicle Conversations”). Few of them are interesting , intriguing but many are badly disturbing and irritating in one or the other way.
I know it is bad to eavesdrop or overhear a conversation but I can’t myself not to hear those conversation . Imagine someone sitting next to you , in a perimeter of 5 feet and talking on phone with volume enough to be heard over the entire floor. I am forced to eavesdrop . It is like someone dialling a call and you are joining the conversation where you cannot speak . A silent 3rd party audience in a one to one call. You can just hear and express in your mind but never loud. Thanks to the new gen mobile which have high volume , which help to hear both the voices .
The converstation starts with a missed call and it goes on and on and on. There are few times where I get deeply involved in the conversation and I don’t want to miss the next episode . Something like a daily SOAP. There was discussion between a newly married couple , where one of them was sitting next to me in my cubicle and other in Onsite . So the conversation goes like this .
1) Why have’nt you called me since morning
2) ………………………..(No reponse)
1) Why are you not talking .. Speak . what happened?
2) …………………………..(No response)
1) What happened ?(in an more aggressive and worried tone)
2) I don’t want to talk to you (a feeble voice)
1) Why? Why?
2) I called you twice in the morning and you did not pick up the call
1) I was not near the phone so could not pickup ? Sorry.
2) You don’t care me (drops off the call)
My cubicle mate gives a weep sigh and looks at some webpage on daily deals.
The call ends and leave me in suspense how my cubicle mate will convince spouse. I was suprised to see after a few minutes while I was away , the tussle between both was resolved and they talk of their honeymoon trip in Scotland.
Funny is’nt it . It may not be funny as it is something common between married folks . But for third person like me ,it is like a puzzle how did they convince each other . There are no particular times for these conversations . If the person is a busy manager normally these CC’s happen during dull office hours i.e 11 a.m to 3 p.m . For people on bench they start as early morning 10.00 a.m and keep on going till they feel they need a tea break. And if they are so involved, these conversations happen by call forwarding from desk number to mobiles.
The conversations I like, are lovers and new couple conversations where as I hate the Saas Bahu episodes. The Bahu who sits in my cubicle first calls her Saas and the Saas by default complaints and shouts . Then immediately the call goes her husband , the first complaint of Bahu about her saas. Second phone to her mother . Both of them equally expressing anguish against her in-laws.
The next conversions are the Mother and Kid conversation . The kid who is either in creche or with grandparents calls her momma. The momma in my cubicle gets emotional . Then the conversation goes what did you do today in school ? what do you want me to get for you day ? Did you eat apple and drank milk ? Post the emotional call , there would be a long discussion in the cubicle about how naughty her kid is.
The conversation of lovers , the bragging and teasers oh man they are quite good . The boring are the male to male conversation . I don’t understand why they can’t for more than few mins . But not the same when the calls host inter gender .
There are few very much informational and price listing calls too. They get started from long term onsite folks who have just come to India. He gets himself self assigned to only one task "How should I invest all the money i have earned over my onsite years??" . He keeps on calling every builder and every car dealer to check the current prices , negotiations and all . This is lot of info. You don't need to do research as these guys give a base to start with incase you want to come back from onsite
Few guys live in the calls . They keep shouting , howling and crying as if they are in front of the other one.
Forget all those cubicle conversation etiquette. There decorum you need to maintain , when you are in a cubicle ... just ignore them .
After all it is good and even it is virtous deed to entertain lonely dorks like me who never get into such long calls .
Disclaimer
1) Pun intented, not intended to hurt anyone
2) All the characters are purely fictional apart from me
3) Don’t put your head or mind in to imagine as my cubicle mates
4) Stricly no offence intented.
By
Visu M
malladiviswanath@yahoo.co.in
I know it is bad to eavesdrop or overhear a conversation but I can’t myself not to hear those conversation . Imagine someone sitting next to you , in a perimeter of 5 feet and talking on phone with volume enough to be heard over the entire floor. I am forced to eavesdrop . It is like someone dialling a call and you are joining the conversation where you cannot speak . A silent 3rd party audience in a one to one call. You can just hear and express in your mind but never loud. Thanks to the new gen mobile which have high volume , which help to hear both the voices .
The converstation starts with a missed call and it goes on and on and on. There are few times where I get deeply involved in the conversation and I don’t want to miss the next episode . Something like a daily SOAP. There was discussion between a newly married couple , where one of them was sitting next to me in my cubicle and other in Onsite . So the conversation goes like this .
1) Why have’nt you called me since morning
2) ………………………..(No reponse)
1) Why are you not talking .. Speak . what happened?
2) …………………………..(No response)
1) What happened ?(in an more aggressive and worried tone)
2) I don’t want to talk to you (a feeble voice)
1) Why? Why?
2) I called you twice in the morning and you did not pick up the call
1) I was not near the phone so could not pickup ? Sorry.
2) You don’t care me (drops off the call)
My cubicle mate gives a weep sigh and looks at some webpage on daily deals.
The call ends and leave me in suspense how my cubicle mate will convince spouse. I was suprised to see after a few minutes while I was away , the tussle between both was resolved and they talk of their honeymoon trip in Scotland.
Funny is’nt it . It may not be funny as it is something common between married folks . But for third person like me ,it is like a puzzle how did they convince each other . There are no particular times for these conversations . If the person is a busy manager normally these CC’s happen during dull office hours i.e 11 a.m to 3 p.m . For people on bench they start as early morning 10.00 a.m and keep on going till they feel they need a tea break. And if they are so involved, these conversations happen by call forwarding from desk number to mobiles.
The conversations I like, are lovers and new couple conversations where as I hate the Saas Bahu episodes. The Bahu who sits in my cubicle first calls her Saas and the Saas by default complaints and shouts . Then immediately the call goes her husband , the first complaint of Bahu about her saas. Second phone to her mother . Both of them equally expressing anguish against her in-laws.
The next conversions are the Mother and Kid conversation . The kid who is either in creche or with grandparents calls her momma. The momma in my cubicle gets emotional . Then the conversation goes what did you do today in school ? what do you want me to get for you day ? Did you eat apple and drank milk ? Post the emotional call , there would be a long discussion in the cubicle about how naughty her kid is.
The conversation of lovers , the bragging and teasers oh man they are quite good . The boring are the male to male conversation . I don’t understand why they can’t for more than few mins . But not the same when the calls host inter gender .
There are few very much informational and price listing calls too. They get started from long term onsite folks who have just come to India. He gets himself self assigned to only one task "How should I invest all the money i have earned over my onsite years??" . He keeps on calling every builder and every car dealer to check the current prices , negotiations and all . This is lot of info. You don't need to do research as these guys give a base to start with incase you want to come back from onsite
Few guys live in the calls . They keep shouting , howling and crying as if they are in front of the other one.
Forget all those cubicle conversation etiquette. There decorum you need to maintain , when you are in a cubicle ... just ignore them .
After all it is good and even it is virtous deed to entertain lonely dorks like me who never get into such long calls .
Disclaimer
1) Pun intented, not intended to hurt anyone
2) All the characters are purely fictional apart from me
3) Don’t put your head or mind in to imagine as my cubicle mates
4) Stricly no offence intented.
By
Visu M
malladiviswanath@yahoo.co.in
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